Amalfi: or Why I Hate the Beach

Of course it couldn't be simple getting from Naples to the Amalfi coast. Our first mistake was asking a train official which platform our train was arriving on. We should have known to ask an untitled stranger. Luckily once we realised that we were on the wrong train, we had several helpful people give us directions on how to correct our mistake. This ended in two gents almost duking it out to win the prize of being able to lead us to the right platform at a transfer station.

Finally arriving in Sorrento, we switched to a bus that was terribly overcrowded (my lot in life it appears), which meant that we had to stand for almost two hours. The bus took us up one side of the Bay of Naples, and down the Amalfi side. It was one of those thrillingly pleasurable routes that winds around twisty, narrow roads offering up spectacular views of green topped mountains, and jagged rocks that lead the eye down to the turquoise ocean below. As we sped around hairpin curves jutting out over the ocean, all the tourists would snap pictures like mad and "ohh," and "ahhh." Occasionally, someone would comment that they hoped we weren't the bus that looses it and plunges over the side. Aside from some thigh bruising I received from bracing myself as the bus swung itself cheerily along the road, I was having a great time. Little did I know that Nina (behind me) was well on her way to loosing her lunch. Thankfully a kind man gave her a sip of his water, although I imagine his reasons were somewhat selfish, since I'm sure he didn't want Nina to vomit anywhere near him.

She made it, and after a petit snack in Amalfi proper, we walked the 10 minutes of road over to the one piazza town of Atrani. There we met Francesco the helpful owner of A Scalinatella where we had booked (in extreme luxury) our own room. Nina wasted no time in stripping down to her bikini and making a bee-line for the beach. I settled myself into our room for a nap and delightfully long shower. Feeling contented at this small moment of alone time, my good spirits were somewhat marred by the fact that I properly took into account that I was now in a beach town. I really hate beaches - maybe almost as much as backpacks. My paleness prevents me from getting any satisfaction from baking in the sun for hours on end, but more than that I have an unnatural aversion to sand. Who can really blame me though? All those granules sneak their way into all the crevices on your body itching you for hours and hours, only relieved by taking a dip, which, in the end, simply makes your body a walking sand collector. Sitting on a beach I am often overcome by chills that leave my body clammy and cold, as I shudder at the thought of all that sand. After that comes my hatred of "beach people" who are there purely to make you feel bad about your pale self. Somehow a sun concealing mu mu takes second place to a barely there bikini in the attractiveness department. Go figure! Anyway, I was getting a little carried away when Nina came back and got me out of my funk by taking me exploring in Amalfi followed by drinks during Happy Hour and some delicious dinner.

At this juncture I would like to say that like all Jekyll and Hyde towns in this world (as indeed this was) we were never happier on our trip as we were in the hours of daylight in Atrani. In the evening we took ourselves to bed early, and a little tipsy. I believe I fell asleep sometime around 11 pm. At around 2 am Nina and I were both rudely awakened by very loud music, and (we think) lively conversation in Swiss German. We were puzzled, where was this coming from? Who could have thought it was appropriate to be this loud that late? After debating the issue for some time, we got partially dressed and went downstairs. After a bit of poking around we realised that the noise was coming from the room directly below us. We knocked and a very surprised looking girl answered. We explained the situation and she promised to quiet down. The music was indeed turned down but this barely produced an effect since even a low whisper could be heard with perfect clarity from where we lay in bed. Nina posited that our room might have at one point been a loft, and then hastily turned into a room proper without a great deal of concern for soundproofing. Without going into details, this couple kept us awake from that point on until around 5:30 am. It was rough. Added to the noise below were a cacophony of other sounds provided by the town of Atrani. The worst of these were the bells that sounded off the quarterly hour and a lone rooster that started crowing every half hour or so from 3 am onwards.

We awoke the next day at 8 in order to eat our free breakfast and then went back to bed before giving up on hopes of sleep and taking ourselves to the beach (yes friends even I went to the beach). We rented some chairs with an umbrella attached for maximum shade exposure for myself. I wrapped a variety of scarves around my bits exposed to any direct sunlight and read/listened to music/dozed/dipped in the ocean (don't get me started on my strong feelings about ocean swimming versus gloriously unsalty lake swimming) for the better part of five hours. I was so well protected from the sun that for a short while I was actually cold. Nina said I looked like a diva.

That night we repeated our walk to Amalfi, Happy Hour pre-dinner drinks, and delicious dinner combo. Luckily the new occupants under us were respectful people who went to bed at a decent hour. Our new enemy was a cat who from about 3am forward mewed piteously, scratched at his litter box, knocked over potted plants and generally re-affirmed my negative feelings towards the feline species.

We arrived back in Naples to find out that our fav hostel was all booked up. The owners being some of the kindest people I have ever met did their best for us: finding us another hostel, telling us that we could hang out there as long as we wanted, and letting us leave our bags in luggage storage so that we wouldn't have to trek across town with them.

Fortuitously we also befriended a Londoner called Paddy who joined us for drinks and dinner back at our delicious pizza place. He also escorted us back to our hostel so that we wouldn't be overtaken by the Neapolitan criminal underworld. All in all a very good evening. Now we are back at the Bella Capri after a disturbing shower (mildew ew!) and subsequent quick exit from the other hostel. We met up with Paddy again for brunch, after which he left for Rome, Nina retired to bed, and I set up camp at a computer.

Tomorrow we fly to Brussels and leave Italy behind us. We are feeling a bit low about going, but happily anticipating the joys and woes of tackling a brand new country.

Arrivederci Italy - until the next time our paths cross. Stay beautiful!